The Anniversary edition..

On August 8, Derrick and I celebrated our 4th anniversary. WOW 4 years! I'm not gonna lie; it's been a challenging road. There have been moments of frustration, but many more moments of joy. We have had hard times and we have had good times. Through it all, I am blessed to say that Derrick has led our home with love, Christ centered decisions, and respect for me and my feelings. We are equal partners, and he treats me as such!

There has been much to learn over the past 4 years. I would like to share a few of the things I have discovered to be the most important.

1. Prayer: Personally and as a couple. When Derrick was in China I missed our prayers together the most. I really believe that prayer is the best way to ensure our efforts are unified. Through praying together, we have been better able to work together on family goals. I have been made more aware of Derrick needs because of this. My personal prayers on Derrick's behalf have softened my heart on many occasions and made known to me what I can do to show more love for him and support to him in his endeavors. It also helps us keep Christ centered in our home.
2. Pride has no place in marriage: This has been a hard lesson for me. I love Derrick and I want him to be happy, but its been a hard thing learning that it's ok if I am not right. It's even ok if I am and he thinks I am not. I have learned when I put aside my pride, we get to the heart of every matter quickly, and the resolution comes close after.
3. Change is essential: I have learned when I want to see something in Derrick change if I try to change that in myself, I soon forget what I wanted to see changed in the first place.
4. "Be quick to forgive and slow to remember": This advice was given to us by our branch president, President Webb, when we told him we wanted to get married. It has been such a blessing in our home. I have noticed by practicing this we are both quick to apologize now. I also believe that this principle is key to avoiding deep rooted problems and resentment.
5. Have Compassion: Compassion for our spouses can help us be more selfless and less prideful. When I have compassion for Derrick, I can really feel Christ's love for him. I also have a greater determination to see him happy. Compassion also increases our capacity for forgive and forget.
6. Laugh!: I love that we can laugh together. I think its just as important as working together. I love when I am angry, Derrick does his best to make me laugh. I can't be angry and laughing at the same time! Its a great way to ease tension, and a great way to spend our day.
7. DATE: Derrick is so good at taking me on dates. There have been very few weeks when he hasn't been able to make time for it. Often, they are cheap, but I love the cheap ones. We have so much fun together. I feel so special when he makes time to just focus on me, and our relationship. We don't talk about school or deadlines. It's very nice.

I could go on for hours. At any given moment, my thoughts about these subjects may change, and I might place greater value on another quality that I didn't list today. I'm always reading and looking for new ways to approach our relationship. Some of my favorite articles on marriage are Your Marriage and the Sermon on the Mount, and Agency and Love in Marriage. (Read them, you won't regret it!) I know that we are still growing, and still learning. I also know that as we continue to strive to center our lives and our marriage around Christ our efforts will be blessed. I am so grateful to be married to Derrick and share the journey of life and eternity with him!